Some people Thursday, January 17, 2008
Some people believe that when you break up with someone and end a relationship, all of your responsibility towards that person is over. You are not responsible for helping them feel better, or reassuring them of anything anymore.
This makes sense. You can’t still care about the other person if you actually want to move on and grow. You have to be able to make your own decisions regardless of how they might affect another person.
There are some other people who believe that while that’s true, and it’s important to start separating your choices from their repercussions on someone you no longer know, there are a few lines that shouldn’t be crossed.
It’s tricky, because where you draw the line is almost completely arbitrary. I think you should wait at least a month before starting to date a new person, depending on the seriousness of the relationship. But why a month? And how do you define how serious a relationship is? It’s almost completely arbitrary.
It doesn’t make sense, but I’m sticking with it. I really believe that there’s an amount of time that’s appropriate to wait before you start dating again. It’s just respectful, plus it’s unlikely that you’ll be ready to date another person so quickly anyway. Rebounding is almost always awful for everyone involved (and quite a few people not involved).
There are a lot of other lines that I don’t think anyone should cross. But they’re just imaginary lines that I made up - they’re not rules that everyone has to follow. And while I will always follow them - because how else can I claim to be a person with integrity? - I can’t really expect other people to follow my imaginary lines.
