No one ever knows what Irony is. Monday, October 23, 2006
Verbal Irony - Verbal irony is the use of words to convey something other than, and especially the opposite of the literal meaning of the words, to emphasize, aggrandize, or make light or a circumstance or subject. A common example of this use of verbal irony is the scenario of a man staring out a window looking at a miserably muddy rainy day and remarking, “lovely day for a stroll.” This remark is ironic because it expresses the opposite of the circumstances
Socractic Irony - Socratic Irony is when a person pretends to be ignorance of something or someone in order to expose the weakness of another’s position. Utilized in a debate or argument, one party may feign a lack of knowledge about a topic and thus will make the other party explain his/her position in great detail. In this way one is forced to explain in great detail the topic that is supposedly so foreign to the other person. It is in explaining the topic, that hopefully the person will expose the fallacy or weakness in the position.
Tragic Irony - Tragic irony or dramatic Irony is employed to heighten the suspense in a given situation. In this form of irony the words and actions of the characters, unbeknownst to them, betray the real situation, which the spectators fully realize. The character speaking may realize the irony of his words while the rest of the actors may not; or he or she may be unconscious while the other actors share the knowledge with the spectators; or the audience may alone realize the irony. A perfect example is in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, when Romeo commits suicide when he believes Juliet to be dead.
Situational Irony - Situational Irony occurs in literature and in drama when persons and events come together in improbable situations, creating a tension between expected and real results. An example of this would be a scene where a man and woman are sitting at a bus stop and start to converse. The woman divulges some of her deepest darkest secrets. The man listens and advises her, and the woman thanks him and gets on her bus. After she is gone the man takes off his heavy coat to reveal that he is in fact wearing the garb of a priest. The irony lies in the fact that the woman never knew that the man she was talking to was a priest, but the audience does and the reality of what the audience knows about why the man was so helpful and understanding is different from the reality the woman experienced.
Irony IS NOT:
- An escalator leading up to a gym.
- Every supposedly ironic event on Alanis Morissette’s song ‘Ironic’.
- Losing money in the stock market, when you expected your stocks to make you money.
- Locking yourself in your house after installing a brand new lock.
US Department of Hilarity Monday, October 23, 2006
Some of these are pretty great.
“Wow! They DO have a lot in common.”
Roller Coaster Tycoon = BEST GAME EVER Monday, October 23, 2006
According to my calculations, Bowling + Roller Coasters = Never-Ending Fun
Much like Slinkies + Escalator!
When insults had class Monday, October 23, 2006
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
Winston Churchill
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
Moses Hadas
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
Abraham Lincoln
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain
“He has no enemies , but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend… if you have one.”
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
Winston Churchill, in response
“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating
“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr
“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
Jack E. Leonard
“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
Robert Redford
“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
Thomas Brackett Reed
“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Billy Wilder
My computer science class is all a load of hooey Monday, October 23, 2006
My CS teacher is talking about the Recursion Fairy. I thought this was Computer Science, not Computer VooDoo.
Why Can’t I Own a Canadian? Monday, October 23, 2006
Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?
October 2002
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
