Simba (sad, dejected): Dad. Where are you? You said you’d always be there for me.
Molly: Uh-oh! Sounds like he was “LION”!!!
It’s okay, go ahead and laugh. No one will judge you. Except the panel of judges behind your curtain, but they’re Canadian so you’ll probably be fine if you mention how much you like curling. Eh?
Mike: You know, this movie has some pretty strong Hitleresque visuals.
Molly: I know! Look at Scar up on that pedestal, gesturing as the hyenas goose-step past him. Ridiculous.
Mike: And Simba, of course, represents the Jews.
Molly: Run away, Jews! Run away!
Mike: The hyenas are the Gestapo.
Molly: Oh Jews, who will save you?
Molly (about Rafiki): Winston Churchill - what will you do about the Jews?
Mike (about Timon and Pumba as they bowl for buzzards and save Simba from the desert): The Americans ride in to save the day at just the nick of time yet again. Dang cowboys.
(Rafiki catches the dust that Simba stirred up, and sniffs it.)
Molly: He smells the Jews.
Mike: Yum… Matzo!
From Dinosaur Comics by Ryan North!
From XKCD Comics! (click on the picture to visit the site).
I am taking Matt and Koko to Frisco. Matt and I have decided to stay together even while I am at the other school I am transferring to (not Clown School?) We are riding on a mountain bus, going to the house. We’re going up and down this one huge hill before we get to the real mountains.
Matt and I are making out disgustingly in front of Koko, and I feel bad and want to stop. She wants to get in on the action, and at one point I kiss Matt and he comes out and says “Was that you or Koko? I totally couldn’t tell!” I get uncomfortable, and Koko’s laughing and being all like: “That’s definitely something I would do!” Haha! Everyone laughs but me. I am feeling really uncomfortable, and Matt notices, but I can’t say anything.
We’re discussing the dance class we’re going to have? We’re talking about how we’re going to advertise for it. A lady in a witch costume is hammering up wooden signs by one nail outside. They are a form of advertising, but we decide it is not for us. Koko gets out to … advertise? She’s out the door of the bus, standing in the middle of the busy road, when we ask her how we’re going to find her again. Does she have a cellphone? She doesn’t know this area, having never been here before. Other people are trying to get out the door, but she doesn’t notice them trying to squeeze past her. Eventually they just force themselves through, and since she’s leaning in talking to us, she gets caught in the doors. Eventually we decide how we’re going to meet back up with her, but I don’t hear because the bus is too noisy.
As soon as she’s gone, Matt comes back to me, looking at me searchingly. He has realized I feel insanely uncomfortable, but I still can’t say anything, because I know he would just defend her and chalk it up to my jealousy. I laugh uncomfortably and don’t really say anything as we bump down the road to the next bus stop.
The bus is red lacquer on the outside, with shiny red seats on the inside. The floor is rubber. It is full and there is a sense of chaos - clothing flapping around, chicken feathers?, lots of children, and lots of very clean trash. Like a ski resort bus. We’re near the back, on the benches that face the side.
Koko gets back on at the next bus stop. She has come in the front, and I realized that I forgot to told her to keep her ticket so she wouldn’t pay again, but I guess she has. She’s walking up to us, and I’m facing her and Matt is facing the back of the bus, so he can’t see her. She holds up her hand to signal me to not acknowledge that she’s there. I ignore her successfully. She puts her wallet and… purse? snowglobe? on the floor and winks at me. There is a black man sitting across from Matt and I holding a bucket of water that is filled with wallets. Koko begins complaining in an Asian language that she has lost her wallet. She angrily jabbers at the black man, accusingly pointing her finger at him and obviously suspecting him of stealing it. He stares at her nonplussed. Matt jumps up and starts confronting him, demanding that he give Koko her wallet back. I get annoyed and pick the wallet up off the floor where Koko put it. It’s hard to get, and I fall over onto the floor, a few seats down from them. I have to yell “Hey…. HEY… HEEEEYYY.” Several times at them to get their attention, and give Koko back her wallet. I’m pissed at her for trying to start a fight with the black man, AND for doing it while not speaking English, AND at Matt for defending her fake and very mean ploy.
We arrive at our bus stop. We get off and have to walk about a quarter of a mile. I am hoping it’s the right bus stop. There are lots of people around, walking the same way we are. The road has thinned to a single strip, one lane going one way, one lane going the other. We walk next to it, and it is clear that pedestrians rule here. We finally arrive at our destination, a huge plateau of beautiful green grass, with a lodge and refresher area type place on the left of the road. ENORMOUS mountains rear up behind it.
“Those are REAL mountains!” I shout excitedly.
We run to the plateau. Matt and Koko (who is now his sister Elizabeth?) are ready to get going, but I know there are things we have to do to prepare. I stand at the huge table that is out in the open (everything is out in the open) and begin gathering supplies. I’m boiling and purifying water to drink, and telling Matt and Koko/Elizabeth that the first day they need to take it easy and drink lots of water and let their bodies acclimatize. They are gone across the stream and come back occasionally to see where I am and why we’re not hiking yet. They’re not hearing any of my warnings. I’m having a hard time finding water that I like, and there are no water bottles. The water is carbonated when it comes out of the water jug, and turns a rusty colour when I pour it into glasses. Everything is communal, so nothing is very good. I can’t find any water. Matt drinks a tiny cupful of the gross rusty carbonated water. I’m telling them about the dangers of altitude. There are lots of other people around, all trekkers like us. I boil some gross water on the stove that is inside the tree trunk. It doesn’t make it better.
I see Sam Jarvis drinking some water. “Oh man! I haven’t had water since last night!” That sounds like a death threat to me, and I try to impress on him the importance of drinking a lot. He walks away.
Then we’re putting dried corn into our pockets. Someone makes a joke about filling his pants with seed. I only take a little bit, and put them into the overalls I have in real life that I made in the Costume Shop. Finally we’re ready to go.
I wake up.
p.s. Koko is an ex-girlfriend of Matt that I met this summer, and felt insanely uncomfortable around but didn’t feel like I could say anything.
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